Paul McCartney Superbowl Half-Time

OK, so I heard today that Sir Paul McCartney’s going to be this year’s halftime entertainment at the Superbowl. I always liked John better, but he hasn’t performed live since 1980.

But you know what I’d do if I was Paul McCartney? Yes, of course I’d smoke a lot of weed, but you know what I’d do if I was Paul McCartney at the Superbowl? I’d whip my cock out. I’d sing “Hi, Hi, Hi” and right at the part that goes “like a rabbit, gonna grab it, gonna do it ’til the night is done” I’d whip my cock right out, wag it around and keep right on singing. I mean, so many uptight Americans were traumatized by the sight of Janet Jackson’s crusty shriveled-up nipple last year, imagine their shock at the sight of McCartney’s veiny fuckhammer.

I would really love to see this happen. Not because of some long-standing desire to see McCartney’s tool, but because if so many Americans are so offended by nudity they should have it rubbed in their faces. Well, not literally. Unless they’re into that.

And it would be particularly sweet because McCartney was an obvious “safe” choice for entertainment. He should be offended. Rock & roll should never be deemed safe by the powers that be. Rock and roll is about rebellion, and what could be more rebellious than showing your cock on American TV? He can surely afford the fines, and what, he’d be banned from football? I’m sure he gives two fucks about American football.

So come on Paul, show some of that old rock & roll spirit and whip out your cock during the Superbowl.