This is Your Child on Drugs.

That is AWESOME! Thank you for noting this.

I’m a fancier of electronica myself, and I’m sick and tired of electronic music in all its forms being banned and outlawed across the nation (and I live in Texas, so it’s even worse) because of the generally-agreed notion that it is physically impossible to listen to electronic music without doing drugs.

Apparently, the only reason anyone ever listens to electronic instruments (unless physically restrained) is because their brains are damaged by hallucinogens. Well obviously. And unless I’m greatly mistaken this is also the only reason anyone could possibly be able to listen to country music, so I move that all country venues be demolished at once! Who’s with me? *rolls eyes*

Whoops, forgot to mention…

One slight error you have made is to assume that D&D, internet addiction, and Monty Python are symptoms of geekhood. In fact, this is not always the case.

I must point out that many of us nerds display these symptoms as well, and you would be ill-advised to confuse nerds and geeks.

Well, seems to me that the jury is still out on the differences between nerds and geeks. Personally, I think it’s just that geeks dress a little less funny (though not much less).

But whatever the case, there’s definitely an overlap between geeks and nerds. They’re like different leaves on the same branch. It’s no wonder that they share many of the same obsessions.

This is my first time to your site, found it via Stumbleupon.

Not sure how seriously to take you on the above. That said, stereotyping via generalizations SUCKS. Yes, we’re human and, yes, we’re intrinsically ‘pattern-seeking’ creatures intellecutally but…

no rule in the context that you’re referring to holds for all teens everywhere. To suggest otherwise seems disingenuous.

that GOV’T Mule, not GOVERNMENT Mule.
also RIP Jerry Garcia
Phish reunion would be the best thing ever

… I totally don’t smoke pot

I take great offense to this list. haha. I am an avid user of Hallucinogens, as well as E, I would never go near Heroin, or Crack, or Cocaine, or Meth, or Special K. I know for a fact that E is probably the least safe substance that I take, but I don’t do it that often, and when I do, I wait until I can be around someone else on it when I am not, make sure they are okay, and I know you will make the claim that every substance reacts differently with each person, which is for the most part true, however if I deem it safe, I will take it. I am not a pressured teen, I am not isolated from my family, in fact, I love spending time with my family, I am a happy person regardless of drug use, I happen to love electronic music, and I play with glowsticks when I am sober. Honestly, the world would be a much better place if everyone were to have an open mind, and give LSD or Magic Mushrooms one try, you would understand what their original purpose was. Modern kids take these substances to party, they were originally used to better the human race, used as substances to alter your perceptions, allowing you you see yourself objectively. But with all things, there are those who abuse the power, and thus we have wound up here, where these substances are illegal, and the ones that serve no purpose are still legal. backwards society. =(

[…] is Your Child on Drugs. July 31, 2007 Posted by Head Jester in : Everything, Articles , trackback How To Tell What Drugs Your Child IsTaking […]

Jury is in. You are dumb. Non drug using teenagers are perfectly happy, self-actualized individuals that have super relationships with their parents and their entire families.
Says who?

***Addition***

If your kid listens to rap, they not only smoke weed and drink and possibly do cocaine, but they also sell weed and cocaine. The best thing you can possibly do as a parent is buy them some wigger clothing so they can fit in with their customers, earning more than you and your husband combined (tax free). When they move up in the game, they will be pimping too, and this extra money will be used to buy you a new house, car, tv, and a trip to the Caribbean.

Does your child shows an interest in making pastry and deserts, especially ones involving lots of fresh fresh whip cream?

Your child is hooked on Nitrous. It was nice of you to encourage their interest by getting them that fancy Italian cream whipper just like they have down at the coffee shop. Should have just gotten em a whisk. Worst they could have done with that is shove it in their ass.

I always figured nerds were the ones that got the snot beat out of them in school , but now make absurd amounts of money thanks to all the time they got to spend learning nerdy things in the absence of friends. And geeks bite the heads off chickens.

Velvet Underground and early proto-punk could imply speed as well, and infact could probably imply a decent mixture of Heroin, Amphetamines, Coke, and Bi-sexuality.

This is freaking funny. Thank you for the laugh.

Does your child hang out with other teenagers?

They’re having sex.

I think you’re wrong. First off, emotional e is the same thing. E has been around since before WWI, but was called ‘empathy’, name changed for kids to buy more. anyways, drugs should be legal, and parents should do their job, and you should get off your high horse.

Xezlec-
fyi, hallucinogens do not physically damage the brain. there is only a small risk of going temporarily insane (which i find fun) and somehow putting your self in danger… which only happens because people are not ready for what they are about to experience.

All of that is utter bs.

The last about the internet, is far far FAR from the truth. You can (I’ve done it successfully) be on the internet a lot, and not meet any strange middle-aged men at the mall, parents don’t see the whole picture, everything the child does while online.
Try to look over a lot of them again, because there’s many many flaws.

i hope this was a fucking joke.
this is stupid.

i’m confuzed is this a joke or for real?

Nice

:)

[…] Please, define ‘fucking hilarious’.  Alright, here ya go (a short selection of an excellent fucking article):  ”…Here are some specific warning signs that your child is in trouble with drugs and other nefarious activities. […]

This was pretty great, I remember back when I was a teenager and my mom thought I was on drugs because I listened to “punk rock” and my girlfriend had blue hair. I miss those days. The stereotype with electronic music and drugs was actually pretty much true back then (at least for the ones who went to the desert raves). Best part is I did that whole X on my hands thing and I guess that to parents means you are on drugs as well.

Oh man, that was a good one.

I LOLED

Oh, man. That is the funniest thing I’ve read in ages.

America, where tits are censored, where drugs is the enemy, the country with a drug addicted president and where you can get a gun on every corner of the street.

And u guys are braggin about the dangers of drugs???

get-a-life… and while u at it, get a new president too.
or do you trust that cocaine addict?? Bringing peace to Iraq, yer right, there haven’t been so many dead americans since WW2. Ask yourself, is that peace? Sending your sons to a country u will never visit and get his ass shot?

Really, first sort out what’s really important. After that figure out how to solve it. Instead of just blaming the drugs, u might as well blame Canada.

U probably heared about all those Koreans in Afghanistan, blame ur president. As long as he keeps sending troops, your sons WILL die. btw, it won’t stop bombing either.

So here’s my advice to you: stop the war on drugs, stop the war on terror and start a war against weapons and silly drug addicted guys that pretends to be president.

Happy to Flame
Terry

i used to smoke a lot of pot with my ex gf reading donald duck’s comics……..
since i quit with donald i haven’t had anymore the urge for a spliff!!!

This was beautiful. Simply beautiful. As a single mother of a young boy, I’ll know what to keep a look out for. You should totally send this to http://www.cwfa.org/main.asp LOL… actually go there… funny, but WAY scary.

[…] This is Your Child on Drugs. […]

This article remains accurate to this very day.

Whoever posted this is retarded.

You forgot,
If your child has a box of tissues in his room he is addicted to masturbation.

And if you listen to this article you are probably the most bigoted, stereotypical parent ever, who probably doesn’t want to take the time to get to know your kid(s). Not all these signs lead to drug usage. When you can find me ten kids from one school who do these hardcore drugs, then I might take the time to listen, but the only drug here that even needs to be considered as used heavily is marijuana. There isn’t a concentrated enough population of teens out there who even do LSD, cocaine, crack, ecstasy, etc… This is addressed to every parent out there, and I can tell not even 5% of parents deal with it. And there are more symptoms than how kids dress. So pull your head out of your ass and get it right.

According to this list i’m on about 20 different drugs and i’m in to necrophilia bestiality and about 5 other things that just go against nature itself…. also I’m in dire need of an exorcism….

I would argue that metalheads are alcoholics more than anything else, but otherwise more or less correct.

The difference between nerds and geeks is simple. The nerds are the smart ones. Sure, nerds often do many of the things that the geeks do, but they ALSO spend a lot of time studying and eventually become engineers, doctors, or scientists. A geek is usually living in his mom’s basement by age 34 reading comic books and playing Worlds of Warcraft. Or maybe he’s managed to exploit the common misconception that geeks are necessarily smart and got a job doing something with computers. Really, it isn’t that hard to trick people into thinking you’re a computer guru. All you have to do is clean some viruses off of their computer or something and they think you are a god.

Oh, and by the way, studying “Klingon” doesn’t count towards making you a nerd. It just makes you a loser.

I laughed so hard when i read this, I am going to put the link in my blog.

Good job writer

There is an obvious difference between geeks and nerds.
Nerds use the computer to play video games.
Geeks use it to play chess.
Both wear glasses.
Nerds snort.
Geeks try (note TRY) to rap.
Both think they’re awesomely cool.
Nerds know all video game cheats and/or own a website frequently visited by people.
Geeks know all types of chatspeak, have made up chatspeak, and spend their free time on the internet listening to classical music.
Most likely, geeks are nerds are boys.
Now that you’ve got the real symptons ask yourself why you ever bothered reading them.

holy carp batman, i like techno and electro music, but also stuff like classic rock,reggae, dub, drum and bass, and hip hop. i must be on a load of drugs according to scaremonger logic, wait o shit i am on a load of drugs, its simple ill blame the music it must have made me take them

ok i lissen to techno and i don’t do drugs so lighten up a bit lol

Sir, I salute you!

Great list. However I would like to draw your attention to the unsettleing fact that today, more and more geeks are snoring powdered graphics cards, referded to by the street name “GFX”

Symtoms are faster reactions, a higher skill in drawing and painting, and you will notice them complaining of the “low-res” state of the world, when not high on the drug.

Thanks.
~Zalifer
An independant researcher for the institute of GFX addiction support. (IGAS)

this isn’t accurate… i love techno, but i dont do ecstasy. just waaayy too much dope. get your facts straight

IS THIS A JOKE?

@Xezlec:
Electronic music isn’t banned, unlicensed rave venues are.

Well, I fit into 6 of those categories and am proud to say I’ve never touched drugs of any kind (including alcohol). Just goes to show you CAN be a teen punk/goth and not do drugs.

This is the funniest shit I’ve read in a long time!

After reading this article.I made a conscious decision that I couldn’t let a child grow up in this world..so i slaughtered my family.
thank you for your help
God bless you

Wow this is lame

umm i would like to say that my kid lisins to punk rock and all sorts of “rock” music and electronic music and they dont do drugs and im affended because i lising to techno and punk rock myself and ive never done drugs

This is the biggest piece of crap I have EVER IN MY LIFE HEARD! I can’t believe PARENTS can be so umm nvm, wow this sucks!

I wear baggy hip-hop clothing and listen to rap music but i don’t smoke crack and its true that football players love to drink i’m the living proof

Sorry it took me so long to moderate all of your comments. I seem to have gone from no readers to a shitload of readers overnight.

Anyhow, for those lacking the satire gene, yes, this is a joke. I’m making fun of the PSA I talked about seeing. Get it? It’s funny. At least to about half of those who posted comments anyway.

He he he he! Awesome! I LOL’d.

Though reading the comments was really sad. It’s really kind of pathetic to see how many people couldn’t tell this was a joke.

arf - that made me lol just then… both the article and the comments, good work

I just stumbled on this, and it was absolutely hilarious! But I honestly find all of the comments downing on this even funnier. Do they actually take this seriously?

How do some of these people live their lives taking things so seriously? Loosen up folks, it seems the same people who bag drugs would benefit the most from dropping a tab, bombing an E etc.

Its amazing how many people commenting seem to miss the joke completely.

Jeeeeeesus! Is sarcasm dead these days? How it not obvious that this is a joke? A really, really funny joke, too.

The part that amazes me is they can get through “your child shot a man in Memphis” and not get it.

described me to a T. All of it. I don’t remember shooting the guy in Memphis though… must have been drunk;)

Seriously how can people not see that this is sarcasm.

I don’t know which is funnier: this article, or the comments. I guess Americans really are as dense as the rest of the world thinks we are. Which actually isn’t funny at all…just really, really sad.

I had some markers under my bed for the longest time, they got forgotten under there after doing a school project. My mom thought I had them under there so I could sniff them and get high. WTF, Mom.

to all who fail to see the sarcasm, you really need some drugs to get on with your life.

wow thanks for the advice
but you didnt say what a good teenager is like
or are we all on drugs

I happen to like Classic Rock.
For all of those mentally impaired parents out there,
This WAS a joke.
This is not true.
I know plenty of people who don’t do drugs but
Do listen to some sort of music.
I love how accurate this is though.
The stereo types people put
on television to scare parents.
If I was going to go to raves and do Ecstasy,
I would leave it around for my parents to find.
Also, the difference between a geek and nerd doesn’t matter
because they are the only ones who care.
:]

i can’t believe how many people think this is for real.

“i hope you’re kidding…” “i’m so offended…” “stereotypes are bad, mmkay…” blah blah blah…” “i have my head shoved so far up my ass i don’t know what humor looks like…”

for serious, people!!! it’s called satire.

God you guys are fucking stupid…… This shit’s a joke… I think you smoked one too many of the crack rocks he mentioned.

I mean seriously, I don’t have any of these warning signs but I still shoot heroin in my ass while smoking pot laced with cocaine all while candy flipping off a ten strip and some triple stacked buddhas. Oh yeah and by the way when I’m done I suck dick for free.

what the fuck people, such generalizations and stereotypes are never going to work to determine whether your teen is doing drugs

i mean come on, according to you if someones child is listening to any music at all they are either an alcoholic or a drug addict

cause that makes a lot of sense

id be willing to bet that you yourself considering alcoholics to be “red blooded Americans” (though it is preposterous to think that anyone alive has any color blood except for red when oxidation occurs… otherwise it would be some form of purpley-blue) that you yourself are a raging alcoholic, probably stage 2, quite possibly stage 3 where you’ve moved on to beating your wife and children because they turn on the radio, which according to you means that they are an alcoholic or a drug addict and therefore you have to teach them a lesson

right?

stereotyping douchebag…

yes its important to keep parents informed about drug use and its signs, but musical taste however shitty it may be is never an indicator

To everyone of you who responded with outrage, derision, annoyance, or just plain confusion; thank you. Without people like you around, wearin’ your velcro shoes and whatnot, I would laugh a little less every day. The light you bring to my life is accidental, like a retard setting his hampsters on fire with a sparkler, but no less heartwarming.

It’s not that I’m being condescending, but holy fuck are you people entertaining. It’s mind-boggling that anyone could exist for any amount of time in our society without acquireing some sort of taste for irony, or even sarcasm, but *salute* you have pulled it off!!

As my gift to you, for your further enjoyment…. Did you know _______?

Did you know you can dry your puppy off in the microwave?

Did you know you can patch drywall with semen and peanut butter?

Did you know you can detect a child molester by his wispy mustache and downcast eyes?

Did you know that if you put dry ice in a screw cap glass bottle under your pillow RIGHT BEFORE you go to sleep, you will wake up in a better place?

Did you know you eating lawn fertilizer and/or
fromunda cheese is the best source of vitamin A, which helps you conduct yourself in regard to society?

Did you know any shot to the testicle over 30 PSI will make your penis grow 1/4″ (flaccid!)?

Did you know you studies show that people over age 85 are statistically more likely to die than those under age 85?

Did you know you can perform your own colonoscopy with a paper towel tube and a trampoline?

Did you know most inbred mountain monkey fuckers are smarter than people who make knee-jerk, assinine, poorly-thought-out, bigotted, or otherwise $tuP1d comments to everything they read on the net?!?!

Go ahead, let ‘er rip, you gangling troupe of vanguard, moron-incest offspring! I know you’re just dying to share that golden insight with all the rest of us! (Those of you that actually read this far are probably laughing. Just wait; I can almost guarantee someone will reply!)

This article has pushed that little red button. I love glowsticks and photon lights but that does not mean I am using ecstacy. Typical fuk shit…

@Fulton: Don’t sugar coat it Man! Tell us how you really feel!

@spacebaby: Your love of glowsticks doesn’t mean you do X, but what does the “420″ in your email address mean? Just like that number I suppose. I enjoy a good number myself occasionally. Get it? “Number”? Didn’t think so.

@xiziggyix:  Dude, not only do I beat my wife and kids, I’m divorcing my wife because she bought the wrong brand of peanut butter!

Sorry. I came here after reading some republican blog, and I realized that they’re everywhere…..

Awesomely funny. Who cares if it isn’t true….

this is actually really funny
but you forgot if your child listens to alternative music then they are dangerous and suicidal

All of you guys who think this is not a joke are fucking idiots. Don’t take it so personal.

hello..
i would like to say that there are a lot of REALLY stupid people commenting on here. of course its a joke! do you know any teenagers who are happy with their lives and like family functions? god. you are all so frigging stupid. its deplorable. you make me want to vomit. why can’t someone make a wonderfully funny attempt at satire with out morons leaving these rediculous comments thus ruining the fun of the whole thing. and do you know whats worse? half of those are probable parents who are too dumb to have kids and actually believe this is real. ugg… *sigh* to the writer.. i loved it. i was very amusing. well done. you said what we all think.
thank you.

Wow you are all retarded. You actually thought this was real… You are probably the stupidest people I have ever had the misfortune of stumbling upon in my life… WOW, get a sense of humor haha. You are all so dumb for actually getting mad at this… WOW…

THiS SHYT iZ ALL FALSE. JUST BEKUZ U WEAR BAGGY CLOTHS AND LiSTEN TO HiP HOP MUSiC DOZNT MEAN U SMOKE CRACK! MAYBE U JUST LYK HOW iT LOOKS AND LiKE THE MUSiC ALL THiS iZ BULLSHYT!!!!!!

I hope Angels comment above is clever satire because I’d hate to have to be living near someone so idiotic he has to shout about it….

If it is satire, kudos to you Angel

What is the matter with your readers? They have to ask if this is a joke? Have you, U.S.ers lost all your sense of humour or do you have to wait to be told by your rulers that this is a joke?

me

That is hilarious! Well done you. and Angel, it does mean that you can’t spell though!

Most amusing!

The scariest thing about this page is the number of retards who actually think it’s factual! Do you Bush-voting idiots believe EVERYTHING you read?

seriously, she does things for crack money

and tupac lives in her closet

Maybe just maybe everyone who has replied because they were “outraged” by this blog were in fact being ironic and we’re the dumb f**ks for not getting their humour.

(Just a sugestion to push out there which may provoke further discussion - maybe not)

Anyhow funny as f**ck - only to be augmented further with the absolute gems of public feed back that this has provoked.

P.S. BluExtacy - if only these people were too dumb to have kids!!!

Hey, where the f##k did my comment go ;( I just called back to see if anyone had added any extra comments. I really liked this blog with all of it’s quirky (if total mislead) comments along with all the wit to counter it. I was pissing myself laughing at everything that was written earlier (Nearly got myself into trouble by laughing out loud - but bit my toungue in time).

My two cents worth was neither agro, stupid, ignorant or otherwise. Is this censorship gone mad??? I was going to forward this blog to all of my mates but now i’m not sure.

Stumbled on this and had a few LOLs, especially at those who didn’t find the humor in this. It’s called satire, morons. Look it up.

Hey, Angel, learn to spell.

@me: Hey now, I’m from the U.S. myself. I live in what they call “flyover country”. I’m actually quite smart. Or so people and standardized tests tell me. Not everyone in the states is a complete moron. Probably a good half are though.

@Whitey75: I moderate the comments. They do not appear immediately, I have to approve them. Anything that isn’t spam gets approved, but sometimes it takes me a day to get around to moderating. I do have other things happening in my life.

Stumbled on this page. Friggin hilarious.

By the way people..this is SATIRE! Look it up.

Sorry about that - being totally hasty just earlier. It later on occured to me that’s what was going on. I will try not to be so paranoid in future.

Hilarious! some people are just too uptight.

Thanks to this thing, I am no longer going to the mall …Unless if I’ve got tons of money.

I have also converted to talk radio.

WTF, mate.

Seriously.

I listen to the music my parents listened to in the sixties and the only drug I’m on is caffeine.

stumbled on this page and have to say is it’s real (which i doubt) the person who write this is a major idiot and needs to get life because not everything in the world points to drugs

second thing i have to say if its a joke
haha such a good joke i forgot to laugh.

third thing i have to say is
is i need to go to the mall more often maybe theres some guy who are straight?

last thing to say
im done here and hope to never stumble onto this page again.

I can’t believe how many of you idiots don’t know what satire is.

THIS IS UTTER SHIT.
I listen to all music I am A teen my self and so far haven’t done any drugs I wear baggy pants the only thing you got right is the punk music bisexual part. I hope this is a Frickin’ Joke cause IT SUCKED MY BIG CANADIAN BALLS.

holy crap, people. it’s a JOKE!

Great list, I discovered your site using stumbleupon. I can’t believe that some people acutally think it’s a serious list. I listen to Heavy Metal, Grunge, Electronic, Reggae, Hip Hop, Country, Blues and the occasional christian rock album. What does that make me?

Cabbage, overhand tie-tuck slip-grope!

@brandy a fine gurl: “Brandy, you’re a fine girl.” Is that what all the sailors say? But I’ll bet they never spend any time with you, do they? Oh sure, they probably give you some excuse like “my love, my life and my lady is the sea”, but the truth is they just think you’re a fucking idiot.

I think it’s freakin hilarious that so many people who commented on this blog made themselves look like total idiots. I mean, how hard is it to figure out that the damn thing is satirical?

wow, you people are all tools.

Fat Dave,
I’m afraid the best I can give you for your use of satire is an A minus.

That said, if you start getting death threats your grade converts to an A plus.

Keep trying, you’ll make something of yourself yet. And about that man I shot in Memphis: If you squeal I’ll see you in Memphis.

Its easy to see most of the people moaning are Americans.Its well known that most Americans dont do sarcasm very well. Us Scots thrive on it. Its this kind of naivity that makes us think Americans are dumbasses. Get a grip, and give youselves a shake, its a fuckin joke ye numptys! Lighten up!
Oh yeah, Skin up too!

This kinda seems like, a joke.

it appears some folks didn’t bother to read the entire post before commenting.

brilliant post. BTW I am a huge into raves and I’ve always been sober. I’ve seen a few kids there who were looking like they were x’d out but it’s a handful. Also at least in my city the raves are usually licensed and there’s security, I’m old enough to have kids and I would have no issue with my kids going to one of these events (it’s afterwards that I’d be worried about!).

This was very funny. The comments were even funnier. Who can anybody be so stupid that they didn’t get the joke? *shakes head in dismay*

zomg fuck u u fuckin fag fer sayin all dat shit about all dem peeplez. who iz u to judge cocksucka? make fun of my baggy pantz again an i’z gonna light up yo block wit da streetsweepa, ya heard

I would give this a thumbs up for the stupid comments alone. Kinda makes me think maybe eugenics isn’t really a bad idea. Honestly, I can’t believe the parents of the people making the comments had the intelligence necessary to insert penis into vagina in order to reproduce.

But let me offer my own PSA here:

IT’S A JOKE. I REPEAT - IT’S A JOKE.

If you didn’t get that it’s a joke, please go shoot yourself immediately. Really, we don’t need you. You’re clogging up the planet.

to mothafucka fucka fuck: wow, learn how to spell, learn how to take a joke, and pull up your pants, no one wants to see that shit.

to Fat Dave: awesome article, I laughed my ass off

I don’t know which I laughed more at, the actual article or the ridiculous posts. The art of sarcasm and recognizing such has unfortunately declined in the world of the internet. At least that gives us someone else to make jokes about. Amazing.

This is ridiculous, Just because you listen to classic rock doesn’t mean you smoke pot, your just stereo typing now.

Warning Contains the truth about the world in a very special.(the is how you make websites… geek joke)

This is almost as bad as the 10 warning signs your child is a hacker. I use linux I spend all day on the computer yet not a hacker. For some reason these parent blogs and stories keep poping up. They are just overy worried parents that need to lighten up. Then need to remember back to when they were kids and their parents would freak out because of the things they did. Better yet why dont they just go talk to their parents and listen to their stories, but then you might just learn something.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcK2gy2FO0I
I listen to metal music I don’t do drugs, I am nervous around the opposite sex and I am straight(I am just a very shy computer geek).

I am going to put you in a random group also known as stereotyping. I am guessing you we one of the parents born between the 60s-late 70s. Look at you generation you started most of the drugs forced the government to increase the drinking age and partied all the time. Just because it is on the 10oclock news doesn’t mean every teenager does drugs. I haven’t gone to church since I was 8(now 18) are you going to claim that makes me a devil worshiper? because it doesn’t. This is why the country(USA) is always in constant fear. I almost wish it was back to how it was in the 60s and 70s because at least then people were more relaxed and didn’t worry so much. You have one life, live it. Raise your kids have some fun one small mistake wont cost you your life as long as you don’t make a habit of them.

The people who do drugs to the extent that it screws up their entire future deserve to have no future, have you ever heard of a man named Darwin. They might just win an award for it too(the Darwin awards… google it) I have listened to metal got Cs and Bs and a few As in school and watched violent Tv shows and played Violent video games(I am assuming you are one of them too) and I am now at a Very good college studing computer science. The only reason these kids are doing drugs at such a young age and so often is because you are taking away all the hobbies and activites because they arnt “safe” enough for my precious little baby.

The first thing I am going to give my kid as a toy are those tiny legos, so what is there is a choking hazard you just need to teach them not to eat it and it is fine. These are the problems with the world today no one plays with legos or knex or anything like that. Not only does it fuel creativity it also kills off all the stupid ones.

Another thing parents seem to be doing is forgetting the true purpose of school. It is not to get good grades or to get into college it is to enjoy life and learn life long lessons.I think that it is the parents that still have things to learn. My parents always insisted(and still do) that they know more about computers than I do just because they are older yet every time they or their friends got a virus they would go running to the nearest teenager to have it removed and if they dont know anyone that would pay a “computer technition” at bestbuy extreme amounts of money to scan for the virus.

The moral of this rant is that you need to trust your kid they will know much more than you did when you were there age. I took classes in high school that my parents took in college and still had time to teach my self everything I know about computers. Lose the kiddy filter on the internet and get rid of that damn V-Chip if they want to see it they will figure out a way to do it.

—
Learn to play Noob

Thanks for the laugh. And I’ll admit I thought you were an idiot until I got to “Your son shot a man in Memphis.” Excellent set-up.

Thank you also for the ‘humor’ tag in this post. Cause really, I might not have been sure otherwise.

As per usual, the comments are almost better than the original written entry.

Fantastic, FatDave.

I can’t believe that some people take this post so personally. I find it very funny! Although I must say, I like rock and coincidentally I like dope… there is not just black and white my friends, but all shades of gray

Hey, Ummm… imho booze has the ability to screw up ones’ life just as much as drugs… But hey, we all know…
“Drugs are bad… mmmkay?”
:P:P:P

To be honest I don’t see how some people can’t catch on that its a joke…
I mean, you’ve got to be really stupid for that.

Apart from that; thumbs up!

FatDave, you probably have more self control than I do. I find myself wanting to personally email those that obviously don’t get it and ALSO have commented without reading some of the other posts. I so want them to get it because it IS so great! Maybe they aren’t all dumbshits…?

Anyway, I’ll be exploring the rest of your posts for further enlightenment

Well, of course it’s a joke, dumbasses!

Not hard to figure that one out. ^^

Is it just me, or are some people taking this post seriously??? For fuck sake its obviously a joke….. jesus… people are stupid….

omg, you’re such a lying jerk! I haven’t done any illegal drugs in my entire life and I’m not about to start just because I like a certain type of music! I don’t rush out to buy glow sticks (even though I did have quite a few, but that’s beside the point) and stock up on the many drugs I’d need to even be able to match up my addictions to music preference. This whole page should be taken down and I really think an apology should be posted in its place because it is really offensive!

(j/k btw loved it, thought about adding in a bunch of spelling errors, but that just made me twitch a bit. I’d go try to meet up with some middle-aged guy in a chat room now if I wasn’t over their age limits *laugh* But really, great post love all the comments too. Not all Americans can recognize a joke, but I proudly don’t count myself in that number)

Since this threads resurrection almost 2 years ago it has really taken some strange turns. It is called SATIRE people. Look it up! http://wikipedia.org/wiki/Satire .

omfg this is some funny sh*t, i found this page using stumble, and at first i thought it was serious, and most of u ppl need to take a chill pill

[…] thebileduct.com […]

Hi.
Good design, who make it?

If your child is tight with money & has a huge nose.

He or she is jewish.

@naisioxerloro: I make it. Glad you like.

Oh my God! I read this when it was posted way back when, but I never got to see the comments.

I don’t know if idiots really make up half the population, but it seems like a good number of folks just don’t get irony.

I’m still laughing myself silly.

There was this guy see.
He wasn’t very bright and he reached his adult life without ever having learned “the facts”.
Somehow, it gets to be his wedding day.
While he is walking down the isle, his father tugs his sleeve and says,

“Son, when you get to the hotel room…Call me”

Hours later he gets to the hotel room with his beautiful blushing bride and he calls his father,

“Dad, we are the hotel, what do I do?”

“O.K. Son, listen up, take off your clothes and get in the bed, then she should take off her clothes and get in the bed, if not help her. Then either way, ah, call me”

A few moments later…

“Dad we took off our clothes and we are in the bed, what do I do?”

O.K. Son, listen up. Move real close to her and she should move real close to you, and then… Ah, call me.”

A few moments later…

“DAD! WE TOOK OFF OUR CLOTHES, GOT IN THE BED AND MOVED REAL CLOSE, WHAT DO I DO???”

“O.K. Son, Listen up, this is the most important part. Stick the long part of your body into the place where she goes to the bathroom.”

A few moments later…

“Dad, I’ve got my foot in the toilet, what do I do?”