Mad Ramblings of FatDave |
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2005.08.08
Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo
So I’ve been seeing commercials for the new Deuce Bigalow movie a lot lately. Every time I see one, it raises two questions:
- Who the fuck green-lighted this and why? Was there pent up demand? Were there a lot of people out there saying, “You know, I wish they’d make a sequel to that shitty movie from six years ago“?
- In a universe governed by the laws of physics, would it actually be possible to make a movie worse than the original Deuce Bigalow? It seems like to do so would require the discovery of a unified theory of suck, but judging from the commercials, that discovery has been made.
So anyway, I’m watching TV with my five-year-old son the other day, and a commercial for it comes on. Toward the end is a scene of a cat biting Eddie Griffin on the penis. My son burst into violent laughter and loudly proclaimed “A cat bit him on the penis!” It seemed like it may have been the funniest thing he’d ever seen. It was at this point that I realized maybe I’m just not this movie’s target audience.
And possibly worst of all, I know that six months from now I’ll be in line at Best Buy, and the dumbfuck in front of me will be buying a copy on DVD.
| Posted in Misc | 06:39:00 |
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| 5 Comments | |
| FatDave | 2005/08/08 07:14:00 |
This is actually a reworked version of an email I sent to Brian Briggs of bbspot.com, in response to his trailer review. After I sent it, I realized it would make an OK post, and that I hadn’t posted in forever. So there you go. |
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| The Zen Detective | 2005/08/10 09:51:00 |
“The studios no longer make movies primarily to attract and please moviegoers; they make movies in such a way as to get as much as possible from prearranged and anticipated deals.” |
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| The Zen Detective | 2005/08/10 09:55:00 |
Oh, and have you seen what Richard Linklater has been up to lately? :-) (I’ve heard it’s not that bad though–Bad News Bears, that is.) |
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| FatDave | 2005/08/10 12:03:00 |
On the Pauline Kael quote: No shit? It’s been that way since about the late 80’s. Hollywood cranks out shitty movies and cross-markets them with fast food, clothes, sunglasses, and cell phones before the movie even opens. If they create enough hype and show an explosion or two in the trailer (even Deuce Bigelow’s trailer has an explosion), it’ll have a good opening weekend, make a profit, then be almost immediately forgotten. And most of the moviegoing public falls for it time and time again. All they really want is to see explosions. Poor dumb bastards. But as long as the formula works, the studios will continue to use it. But on the bright side, the studios still throw chump-change at independent films that go on to become classics. On Richard Linklater: Don’t be dissing Richard Linklater, man! His small movies (Slacker, Waking Life, Tape) are better than his big movies (School of Rock, Before Sunset, Dazed and Confused), but even his big movies are better than most. I haven’t seen the Bad News Bears remake, but Ebert & Roeper gave it 2 thumbs up. Even the AV Club gave it a good review, and they fucking hate everything. So, it’s obviously not a piece of shit, and when was the last time you could say that about a remake? Let’s ask Tim Burton…. |
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| The Zen Detective | 2005/08/10 12:13:00 |
Thae sad thing is that Pauline Kael quote and The essay it’s from was written in 1980… |
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