Wonder Showzen: 2005-2006

I guess it’s kind of old news, but my best friend just informed me that Wonder Showzen will not be coming back for a third season. Wonder Showzen has now earned that most unequivocal indicator of quality television: A premature cancellation.

And while it’s a shame, I can’t really be sad. In fact, I actually think I’m happier that it’s going out relatively unknown. I made a wonderful television discovery one morning at 3AM, shared it with my closest friends (some of whom thought I was insane to like it, but were not at all surprised that I did), and now it’s gone before it could be mass-marketed, cross-promoted, and brand-built. I have the DVD’s, so Chauncey and the gang will always be there for me and anybody I think is fucked-up enough to withstand the stark, ugly, profound truths it exposes.

My Favorite Thing Ever Written

I can spend (and have spent) hours and hours just perusing The Jargon File, but this has always been my favorite bit.

The Story of Mel

Here’s a snippet:

I have often felt that programming is an art form,
whose real value can only be appreciated
by another versed in the same arcane art;
there are lovely gems and brilliant coups
hidden from human view and admiration, sometimes forever,
by the very nature of the process.
You can learn a lot about an individual
just by reading through his code,
even in hexadecimal.
Mel was, I think, an unsung genius.

Just thought I’d share with all three of my readers. May you all achieve enlightenment.

A Scene From My Life

INT. LIVING ROOM  NIGHT

DAVE is lying on a COUCH under a BLANKET watching FUTURAMA
on a TELEVISION. Other than the light from the TV and a
light in the adjoining dining room, the room is dark.

Silhouetted, KARRI enters from the dining room wearing a red
plaid flannel jacket. She carries a pack of CIGARETTES.

                    DAVE
          You're gonna smoke? You didn't even
          invite me?

                    KARRI
          You're naked.

                    DAVE
          That doesn't mean I won't come smoke
          with you.

DAVE presses pause on a REMOTE and the PICTURE freezes on a
scene in a locker room. The picture shows LEELA wearing
nothing but a white towel.

                    DAVE
               (continuing)
          Actually, first I’m going to masturbate
          to Leela in a towel.

                    KARRI
               (disgusted)
          You’re going to masturbate to Futurama?

DAVE starts to get up, wrapping the blanket around himself.

                    DAVE
          Nah. Not to Leela anyway. They draw Amy
          really sexy sometimes though.

The two make their way through a DOOR into…

INT. GARAGE  NIGHT

The garage is mostly filled by a CAR and a MINIVAN, both
green. Various bikes, tools, and toys line the walls. There
is an old COUCH made of light beige leather against one
wall. KARRI and DAVE (still wrapped in the blanket) sit down
on the couch.

                    KARRI
               (lighting cigarette)
          If you ever jack off over a drawing….

                    DAVE
               (lighting cigarette)
          Even if it’s lesbian hentai? They draw
          some really hot naked girls with great
          big eyes and purple hair.

                    KARRI
          Purple hair?

                    DAVE
          Sometimes blue.

You Know Who Should Be Lined Up and Shot?

Fucking comment spammers. Let it be known that I hate every last one of you bottom-feeding fucksticks and would jump at the chance to piss on your mothers.