I Feel Guilty About Being a Dick to Telemarketers

Because, you know, I used to be one. I know it’s just some poor kid or ex-con at the other end. But I can’t help it sometimes. Here’s how a conversation mere minutes ago went:

Telephone: Ring ring ring!

Me (picking up telephone): Hello?

Telephone (absolute dead silence): …

Me: …

Telemarketer (after dead silence becomes background noise): …hello?

Me: I hate autodialers. An autodialer immediately lets me know I don’t want to talk to you.

Telemarketer (stunned): Ummm…. I’m calling from VMS, and what we do is help magazine publishers with their circulations….

Me: See what I mean? I was right. I don’t want to talk to you. Thank you!

So I was a dick, and now I feel guilty. But at least I was an interesting dick, not just a screaming swearing dick. And I’m not afraid to own my dickness.

And yes, I know about the National Do-Not-Call list, but I just moved. I’ll consider this call a reminder to do that.